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6 Ways To Beat The Stress Of
Buying A Home
DEATH, DIVORCE & MOVING are the three most
stressful experiences in life. There are two very different kinds of needs
that people have while moving. First there are the transactional needs,
like finding the home that is just right for you, finding a seller who is
realistic, negotiating the price, filling out the paperwork, handling the
escrow, and arranging for the move. But there are also emotional needs
that are involved when moving, and this is where the biggest stress comes in.
Any competent agent will handle the transactional needs for you, but if your
emotional needs are unfulfilled, you'll be frustrated and may not act in your
own best interests. The ideal real estate agent is one who is competent
with paperwork and numbers, but can also guide, direct, and counsel you through
the emotional ups and downs of moving. Here are the six best ways we've
found to beat the stress.
1. Begin with the end in mind.
Have an ultimate scenario of where you're trying to be. What will life be
like when you get there? How will it be better than where you are now?
Dwell on that picture and write it out, fill up at least a page about how it
feels in the new place. This is imperative. Having the goal in front
of you at all times energizes you to achieve it, in spite of setbacks and
frustrations. Emotions will run high and you need an anchor. In
childbirth, the Lamaze method teaches you to focus on one spot when enduring
labor pains. In the same way, you too must focus on that future goal when
anxiety threatens to get the better of you.
2. Be flexible. In your monetary
calculations, overestimate by a thousand dollars. In this market, anything
can happen between contract acceptance and closing. It could be the
inspections reveal areas of concern that the seller is unwilling to fix or the
repair costs are higher than the amount limited in the contract. Or the
interest rate changes which affects the necessary down payment and closing costs
you will need to come up with. As your real estate team, we will strive to
tie up loose ends as quickly as possible, but remember there is no perfect
world. Most buyers feel a bit overwhelmed when taking on a new mortgage
and the responsibilities of a new home and we've seen many buyers get angry when
it seems like the cost just keeps going up. Anger is caused when reality
doesn't match up with the expectations you had in your mind. So if you
anticipate this happening in advance, you won't get angry. In fact, it'll
probably go better than you expected.
3. Trust in the process. There's
just so much to do, it's easy to panic. You wonder if it will ever work
out. In fact, when we bought our house, we couldn't eat for a day, we felt
sick to our stomachs! You think you're taking a big chance, but the truth
is you're giving yourself a big change. Even though you can't see every
step of the way, as you move towards your goals, the way opens up. We know
that you haven't moved in a long time and it's a major upheaval in your life.
But we've been there many times before, and we'll be looking out for you.
Trust that we know the way to get you there.
4. Get knowledge. One thing
you'll probably feel during this transition time is being out of control.
It feels like everyone else has taken over your life. The seller, your
lender, the appraiser, the inspectors, they all have the power to say yes or no
to your moving plans. We'll try our best to let you know ahead of time
what your expenses will be, and what the unknowns are. We'll tie down the
loose ends as soon as possible. We'll try to get your loan approved within
a reasonable time frame. We'll educate you as best we can and let you in
"behind the scenes" so you won't ever feel stupid or out of control.
5. What is your option? When
things don't go as smoothly as you had hoped, don't let emotions take over.
Always ask yourself "what is my option?" because there are always options.
Let's pretend the lender takes longer than agreed upon to get your loan.
He keeps asking you for more and more documentation until it feels like he also
needs to know how many gold fillings you have in your mouth! You'll feel
upset because you wanted to feel certain about the move and now you still have
to live with the uncertainty. You want to say "Forget it, I'm fed up with
this!" But what is your option? Find a new lender and start the
process over again? That may take weeks, plus you will have to provide all
the paperwork over again. If the lender is trying his best, it may be
better to give him a few more days. Each case is unique, but when setbacks
occur we've found that asking yourself this question helps to defuse the
situation and restore clear headed thinking.
6. Seek entertainment. When
there's nothing you can do about the situation, take your mind off of it
altogether. Maybe you expected loan approval on Friday, but now it won't
come until Monday. You hate being in limbo and feeling powerless. So
do something else entirely, maybe something where you aren't powerless.
Take a hike, play tennis, get out of town for the day. Watch a movie or
pour yourself into your work. Whatever diversion works best for you, now
would be a good time to engage in it. Just forget the situation and refuse
to listen to those irritating thoughts when they come into your head.
Think about something else instead and just take it one day at a time. To
keep stress to a minimum, here's how I'll serve you when you work with me in
buying your new home: Give my best-reasoned expert counsel and advice with
your best interests in mind. Clarify your goals and motivation, and decide
if moving is the wisest choice at this time. Provide recommendations and
information to help your kids through all the changes. Negotiate
effectively for you to get the lowest possible price for your new home.
Treat your money like it was my own, saving every expense possible.
Protect your interests during escrow, keeping a detailed record of the
transaction. Be your levelheaded sounding board or relief valve when the
stress is overwhelming. Counsel you through the feelings of "buyer's
remorse". Alert you ahead of time to every possibility so you feel more in
control. Contact you daily during the last 10 days of the transaction to
serve your needs. Provide guidance and help with movers, change of
address, utilities shut off, cleaning, etc. Deliver your closing
paperwork. Continue to give you information of value after the
transaction....for life.
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